I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.
I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many good things.
Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me.
If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put it back in the sky to let everybody know how colorful my life is with a friend like u!!
It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
Aansu aa jate hain aankhon mein,
par labon pe hasi lani padti hai,
yeh mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai yaaro,
jisse karte ho usi se chupani padti hai
If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if I were In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven wont be heaven without u.
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you
Stars are too far,
Sun is too hot.
Moon is unapproachable,
so God especially made friends like you,
so that I can say
“I have my own little universe”
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
A man walks into the doctor´s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. He asks: What´s the matter with me? Doc replies: You are not eating properly!
Teacher asks Girl:
Which part of Human body
Expands 10 times its normal size..?
Girl: I can’t answer this question
I feel shy…!
Teacher asks same question to a boy.
Boy replies: Its the Pupil of Human Eye.
Then turns to the girl:
Listen girl your thinking is wrong
and your expectations are too high.
One American in Rome,
Drinking beer at street cafe
when a pretty girl sat beside him.
American: Hello, do you understand English?
Girl: only little.
American: How much?
Girl: Fifty dollars.
Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
If you find your world as a sky
and your friends as stars,
and if you don’t find me among them,
don’t worry! I’ve just been fallen
to make your wish come true.
During the engagement I tried to throw a strong force through the canon, but
I was Obliged to use it elsewhere before it had gotten to the supposed location of the village.
A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!