A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!

Wife to Husband :
“You spent
6 nights creating a
45 minute Powerpoint
to explain Why You
Don’t have 5 minutes
to Clean out the Litter Box.?”

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage.

A girl to doctor: when I smoke cigarette,
I feel very uncomfortable,
On first puff, I put off my shoes.
On second, my socks.
On third, my shirt.
Doctor: take this cigarette and tell me in detail.

The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy.

The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy.

It was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, "God Bless Us, Every One!

When the mid-nite bell rings tonight..
Let it signify new and better things for you,
let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,
Let it signify a year of courage and believes,
Wishing you a very...very...very prosperous new year.

Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

Dear friend,
Your validity for taking food
during the day time has expired.
Please fast next 30 days
to resume your day time food.
Thank you for eating.
Happy Ramazan

Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcockscum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.

WHO YOU TRUST

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

It is better for us to feel bad rather than to make others feel bad.

*Newsflash*
The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach.
The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's

This Diwali I Am Sending You CASH:
C-Care
A-Affection
S-Smiles
H-Hugs
* HAPPY DIWALI *

Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?

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