Why do surgeons wear masks? So that they are not recognized later!

DOCTOR: How is your husband's lumbago? WIFE: Not too good. I rubbed his back with whisky like you told me to and he broke his neck trying to lick it off!

I need a hug, I need touch, I need tender, I need a kiss, I need love, I need sex, I need you!

Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Boy1: Meet my wife Tina
Boy2: Oh! I know her
Boy1: How?
Boy2: We were caught sleeping together.
Boy1: What the hell!
Boy2: 10 years ago, during lecture in Maths class

Every Life In This World
Is Painted By GOD.
I am Thankful To Him
Because When He
Painted My Life
Including One
Beautiful Color
of You..
As My Friend.

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Look at sun and you see time.
Look in heart and you see love.
Look in eyes and you see life.
Look at your mobile and
you see who’s thinking of u!
It’s me.

How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself.
Squirrels will come to you on their own.
Because they just love NUTS .

You’ve seen me laugh You’ve seen me cry And always you were there with me I may not have always said it But thanks and I love you Happy Mother’s Day

You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.

It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

Prophet said:
“Whoever stood for the prayers
in the night of Qadr out of sincere
faith and hoping for a reward from Allah,
then all his previous sins will be forgiven”

Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins,the brain’s natural painkillers.
So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.

In life
Some know you..
Some remember you..
Some like you..
Some understand you..
Some care for you..
But..
A TRUE FRIEND does all above
&
always hopes the best for you.

True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.

FEW RELATIONS IN EARTH NEVER DIE..
Take first letter from each word of the above said statement & then u will get that unique word...
FRIEND :=)

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